These Zodiac Pillows Will Get You Through Mars Retrograde

At least your sofa will look good as a whole new planet effs up your existence.

Zodiac Pillows
Nicole Pivirotto

Big news: There's a whole new planet here to obliterate your attempts at happiness, fulfillment, and finding that elusive pair of jeans that makes your butt look great from all angles. Mercury retrograde may get all the attention, since it happens three or four times a year — that hog — but this month, your horoscope's getting a double-whammy of FML. First, there's Mars retrograde, a phenomenon that happens once every two years, which strikes now through August 27. Then, starting July 26, it's overlapped with Mercury retrograde, so if you're into reading your horoscope, expect a lot of talk about feeling adrift, your sex life fizzling out, and your confidence being shaken. Followed by fumbling through communication and tech issues. Woohoo!

If that news makes you want to scream into your pillow, well, never fear — these zodiac designs from Urban Outfitters are just the thing you need. They're the perfect way to give your couch — or bed — a little personality, and they're a whole lot more pleasant to look at than whatever your horoscope says this month.

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1 Aries
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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They're 100 percent polyester, so go ahead, cry into your pillow when Mars retrograde royally effs up your day.

2 Taurus
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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When people walk through the door, show them you take zero bullsh*t.

3 Gemini
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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You've got twice the issues; now you have twice the planets to blame anything that goes wrong on!

4 Cancer
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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Feeling crabby? Just 'gram this pillow and caption it mood.

5 Leo
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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Here's some good news: A portion of each sale goes to supporting local art communities worldwide.

6 Virgo
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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Since Mars affects love lives, maybe it's for the best this sign's known as the virgin.

7 Libra
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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If you're on the fence on whether this pillow will fit your decor, let a closer look at its mod design tip the scales in your favor. (Sorry. Had to.)

8 Scorpio
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
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It's only fitting the dark, mysterious sign of the zodiac would be designed on a dark, mysterious (okay, less mysterious and more polka-dotted) background.

9 Sagittarius
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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Ah, Sag. You're so on-trend with your arrow decor and gold accents that even people who weren't born between Nov. 22 and Dec. 21 will covet this one.

10 Capricorn
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
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Capricorns are known for their self-control and discipline, to which I challenge you: How can you resist this bad*ss pillow?!

11 Aquarius
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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You hate being bored, and thankfully, this pillow is anything but dull. Enjoy having your friends guess what that abstract design really means — then make something up, just to mess with them.

12 Pisces
Urban Outfitters Zodiac Pillows
Urban Outfitters

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Pairs nicely with a cool-toned throw pillow and a large glass of rosé as you binge-watch The Bachelorette.

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