The universe has enough negativity in it. Sometimes, you just need a good laugh. Or a very elegant, totally understated way to announce your upcoming nuptials, patriotism, or sheer fervor for the holiday season. In those moments, you need—yes, need—a festively attired flamingo lawn ornament. Or an entire flock of them.
As it turns out, the internet isn't just full of reproductions of the classically kitschy '50s plastic flamingo; it's chock full with designs to celebrate all kinds of life milestones, and well, you have to see them to believe them.
Plus, if you have to deal with that grumpy, "get off my lawn!"-shouting neighbor, you might as well give him (or her) something to shake a fist at.
No, this duo does not count as a witness for your marriage certificate, but they do have far fewer opinions about how you should celebrate your big day.
That "Over The Hill" tombstone you were planning on plopping onto your friend's lawn for his birthday might be a little too subtle. Really get the point across by circling the spot with a few flamingos dressed as vultures.
Inflatables are for basic witches. Go for more unexpected decor with this lil' baby.
Lawn gnomes everywhere better watch out.
You could totally get away with keeping these up past Oct. 31 by arguing they're really "more of an artistic statement on the internal moral struggles we all face every day." Besides, if you have to stare at Brenda's pant planters, she should get to wake up to this duo day after day. Passive-aggressive much?
Ah, it's about time H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu was immortalized in a plastic flamingo tribute. As Etsy seller MagpieEclectic warns, don't stare directly at it for very long, or you "might go insane and buy another." Scroll on, folks!
Because celebrating Thanksgiving with a flamingo dressed as a turkey would be too on the nose, this one's a turkey that's ALSO dressed as a pilgrim.
Inflatable reindeer have had their run. This year, you need this four-pack of festive flamingos: a trio of faux-reindeer all guided by a jolly pink St. Nicholas. Just peep those pipe-cleaner antlers.
Here comes Peter...Feathertail?! Yes, there's even an Easter bunny-themed pink flamingo. Though from this angle, he looks a little sinister.
Fittingly, this Uncle Sam flamingo is made in the U.S.A.
Why stop at Uncle Sam when you can also have a star-spangled flamingo?! Independence Day will never be the same.
Who says you need a holiday to trick out your lawn with a set of OTT plastic birds?! This duo basically signals to everyone in your nabe that yes, you are the baddest b*tch in the cul-de-sac, thank you. In a sea of plain old pink flamingos, you stand out. Own it.