Sure, growing herbs is fun and all, but have you ever wanted to spice things up a bit? If your answer is yes, then it's time to consider planting some Willy Chillies to satisfy all your gardening fantasies.
Firebox, an unusual gift site (as it calls itself), sells just that! You know, just a casual kit that lets you Grow a Dick—AKA a plant of very phallic-looking red chili peppers for just $12.99. According to the tiny planter box in which the seeds come, these veggies—scientifically known as capsicum annuum—are "growers, not showers."
So, with a little TLC and some water they'll sprout out of the soil within 12 to 18 days, just in time for you to cook up a "sexy stir fry." To grow, the instructions say to place the penis pepper pot (say that ten times fast) in a bright, warm location and water occasionally to keep the soil moist. It's really that simple.
PRE-ORDER Grow A Dick, Firebox.com
Because these peckers are so popular, they're already out of stock on Firebox.com, but don't worry! They're available for pre-order—though I'm devastated to say delivery appears to only currently be available within the European Union. Like these plants though, the company is looking to expand to other countries.
Best workaround? Have them delivered to a friend in the EU, then pay the extra delivery to send it to the United States (or wherever you live). You'd be nuts not to do so. Or, just buy some seeds on Amazon.
Should these plants be a little too naughty for you (I get it), you can get your hands dirty while keeping your mind clean with a sweet little bunny rabbit or dolphin succulent. Or maybe even a succulent to match your zodiac sign. Regardless of what you decide, this is clearly a judgement free zone. I mean, come on...We're not d**ks.
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