Editor's Note: It should go without saying, but this story contains spoilers. If you haven't seen the movie and you're going to freak out if anything is revealed beyond what you could see in the trailer, save this story for later.
Michael Myers is back...again. The 11th installment of the Halloween franchise sees the return of Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, which is awesome. And fan-favorite Judy Greer stars as Curtis's daughter, Karen Strode, which is also awesome. But other than that, the highly anticipated sequel is pretty predictable, almost to the point of being boring. Unless you're into architecture and design—then you'll be really into this one, because Laurie's house is a tricked-out fortress full of must-see custom features.
Halloween picks up 40 years after the original film's end. (Yes, you're supposed to pretend like none of those other sequels ever happened.) The movie focuses on the severe PTSD Laurie Strode suffers from after being hunted down by a psychopathic killer when she was in high school. She's estranged from her family, drinks heavily, and lives alone in the woods with more security precautions than the White House. It is this secluded house with countless custom features that ultimately saves her life, though.
The house has some standard features, like a gated driveway and a full security camera system surveying the property. Then there are some extras, like the shooting range in the backyard and the massive flood lights on the roof that could light an entire concert arena. The coolest detail, though, has to be the hidden basement. With the push of a garage-door remote button, the island in Strode's kitchen slowly moves to the side, revealing a staircase that leads down to her basement. The basement is fully stocked for an apocalypse, or you know, the return of Michael Myers. Once down there, a switch in the room moves the kitchen island back to its original spot, completely concealing the staircase. Pretty cool, huh?
But of course Michael Myers breaks into the house and immediately starts attacking the kitchen island, as if there were a neon sign above it flashing "there's a room under here!" Anyway, in the end Strode, her daughter, and her granddaughter force Myers into the basement before revealing two more insane details of the house. A lever on the stairs pulls down, releasing iron rods in both directions and creating a cage over the stairwell. Next, after Myers is trapped below, Strode flips another mysterious switch that appears to release small pipes throughout the home, releasing gas in every corner. Just in case you're reading this and haven't seen the movie yet, I'll let your imagination take it from there.
So yeah, this movie is basically the same as all the other Halloween movies. You should still see it though, because Jamie Lee Curtis deserves your time. And if you do end up liking it, I have good news: There's going to be another sequel! Well, at least there probably will be another, because Halloween grossed an estimated $77.5 million this weekend, and there is no way in hell Michael Myers can be stopped.
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